awesome divorse letter :)

My Dear Husband, i'm writing this letter

to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a

good wife to u for the last 20 years and I

have nothing to show for it, and the last

2 weeks haven been hell. your boss

called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last

week, you came home and u didn't even

notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked

your favorite meal and even wore a

brand new night gown. you ate in 2

minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. you didn't tell

me u love me anymore, u didn't want

sex or anything that connects us as

husband and wife. either u are cheating

on me or u don't love me anymore.

whatever the case, I'm gone....
YOUR EX-WIFE P.S. Don't try to find me. your BROTHER

and I are moving to new zealand

together! Have a great life!.... 

REPLY : Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day

more than receiving your letter. It's true

u and I have been married for 20 years,

although a good woman is a far cry from

what u have been. I watch TV soaps so

much becoz they down out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad

that doesnt work anymore. I did notice

when u got a hairdo last week, but the

1st thing that came to my mind was 'you

look just like a boy!'. Since my father

raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

when u cooked my favorite meal, u must

have got me confused with MY BROTHER

becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years.

About the new night gown, I turned

away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a

coincidence that my brother had just

borrowed $300 from me that morning.

After all of this, i still loved u and felt we

could work it out. So when i won the $20

million Lotto on saturday, i left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but

when I got home u were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope u have fulfilling life u always

wanted. my lawyer said that the LETTER

u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care...

Signed....

Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told u this, but

my brother CARL was born CARLA. :p .i

hope that's not a problem :p lol haha